I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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