Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
