it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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