that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
