Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just threw up on my dentist
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
