This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
