I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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