Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
