My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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