I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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