Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
