Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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