So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
