Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
