don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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