reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
