dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
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Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
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Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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