nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
