i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
