Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
