operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize