WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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