Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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