I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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