What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
