The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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