I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
