Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
