Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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