I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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