I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize