I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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