A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
