if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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