he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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