my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
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