i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
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I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
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When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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