i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
