Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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