if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm both gender and math confused
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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