he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
