She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Farmville is her only friend.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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