Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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