I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize