I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
even my farts smell like vagina
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
