I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
