Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
