they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize