Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
