last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize