is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
