what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
it's great music for shaving your balls
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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