You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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