I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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