Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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