I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
