is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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