whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
