wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
