Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
