Whod you bang
thus making me awesome and them whores
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
